This Earthen Vessel: 2013

I decided to write about my birth story for 2 reasons. #1 Some of my friends wanted to hear my story because they were intrigued about home birth or they knew how much I have always wanted to have a baby and wanted to hear how it went. #2 There are a lot of misconceptions about home birth and I have become passionate about bringing awareness to it. It's kind of long because I give the back story of why I wanted a home birth in the first place.

I have always been a little obsessed with babies, pregnancy and birth. Even during my 8 years of infertility, I didn't shy away from reading about it, watching those tv shows about it or listening to other women's birth stories. I've pretty much always wanted to give birth naturally and then, after living with a home birth midwife for a while and my best friend having 2 of her babies at home, really wanted to have a baby at home. Of course, I thought that I would have my first baby in a hospital, just to be "safe" and then, if the first birth went well, have the rest at home. This was before I knew it would take me 8 years and 3 adopted/foster kids to get pregnant!

When we found out we were pregnant we decided, after much thought and discussion, to go ahead and have our baby at home. For 1, this may be our only pregnancy and 2, by this time, I had read enough about it that I was fairly confident in my ability to give birth and I wanted to be sure I could do it my way without any interventions. There were moments at the beginning when I didn't think Tripp was going to go along with this home birth thing, but after watching a few documentaries with me and meeting our midwife, he was as convinced as I was that this was the way we should go.

Backing up a little bit... I had been given the impression by someone when we first moved to Georgia, that home birth was frowned upon here. So, I wasn't sure if I could even do it. I used to joke that if I ever got pregnant we would have to go back to Texas so that my friend could deliver our baby. I was thrilled when I found out that a friend at Bible study had all three of her children at home. So, when I found out I was pregnant, the first thing I did was email my midwife friend in Texas and ask her what to look for in a midwife (what to ask her in an interview, etc), thinking that I would interview at least 2 or 3. I was surprised to discover there was only one home birth midwife in our area! Thankfully, I had 3 friends that swore by her and she turned out to be pretty amazing. It was our first meeting with her that really set Tripp's mind at ease about having our baby at home.

One of the things that I loved about having a home birth is the prenatal care. Honestly, I had a really easy pregnancy, so I didn't require a whole lot more than the routine stuff. But, if I needed anything or had a question about something, I could call my midwife directly. I didn't have to call and leave a message with a nurse and wait for a call back. I've actually even facebook messaged her several times! Not only that, but my visits/appointments were never rushed. Often times I would be there an hour just talking to her. By the end of my pregnancy, I was completely at ease with her. She felt more like a friend or part of the family than a healthcare provider. I think that and being educated about birth really helped me during labor. If she told me I needed to do something, I didn't question her. I just did it. I trusted her. I knew that she wouldn't put me or Audrey in danger and that she would be honest with me if something was wrong.

I loved being able to labor and deliver at home. My labor was fairly typical, from what we learned in our Bradley classes. It started out slow and gradually progressed. When my water broke, I was at home with the kids. I called Carlene (my midwife) and Tripp to let them know that I thought labor was starting. I was able to feed the kids lunch and eat lunch myself. My friend Danielle came over to help me with them and get the girls settled at a friend's house. She was able to stay and help us with Timothy. Tripp and Danielle set up the birthing pool, but we didn't think I was far enough along to get in it, yet. If you get in too soon it could slow things down. Danielle and Tripp timed my contractions and I was able to walk around and find different positions to manage the pain. I couldn't lay down at all. This made my contractions more painful, so I walked around, sat on my exercise ball or laid my head down to rest a little. I took a shower, thinking that the warm water might help. I remember thinking when I was in the shower that the contractions had been manageable and then remembering something someone said in a documentary, "Oh honey, they're going to get much worse!". I tried to eat a little, but by dinner time I wasn't hungry. When the contractions got really strong, I got in the bathtub for a little while (by that time I was in transition). That's the first time I remember thinking that I didn't know how much more I could take. Carlene was at another birth when I had called her earlier, so I just managed the contractions and waited for her to come. Since this was my first baby and I had still been at 1 cm when Carlene checked me that morning, we figured it would take a while. I was in labor for about 9 hours total, but it really didn't feel like that long. You just take each contraction as they come. I think the best thing for me was that I had tried to educate myself so much about childbirth and I wasn't afraid of it. It really helped that I had read books and watched documentaries about other people's birth stories (Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and More Business Of Being Born). Helpful things would come to my mind at just the right times.
Carlene sent help until she could get there, so I had a wonderful group of women (plus Tripp) to help and encourage me. Looking back, that was one of my favorite things. I had Carlene's assistant (her daughter - who I had met several times at my appointments and felt really comfortable with. She's a lot like her mom and I think I relaxed a lot when she got there.), a NICU nurse that wants to be a midwife and attends births with Carlene sometimes, a mennonite woman that came (with her own sweet baby) to check me to see how much I was dilated until Carlene could get there, Carlene and then my friend Danielle. I was surrounded by women who had all given birth and witnessed birth. I almost felt like I was on The Farm! (Ina May Gaskin's birth center/commune) The birthing pool felt amazing! I've heard people say that it's like a natural epidural and I believe it! But, for me, pushing wasn't very effective in the pool, so I ended up getting out (and back in and out again). Audrey ended up being born in our room, on our bed instead of the pool. By the time Carlene got there I was ready to push. Pushing was the hardest part for me. I pushed for almost 2 hours. I remember thinking at one point, "This is crazy! Why do people do this more than once? I'm never doing this again! If we have any more kids, they will be adopted for sure!". When Audrey was born she was immediately laid on me while Carlene suctioned her out and did a quick check, we waited for the cord to stop pulsing, I delivered the placenta (no, I didn't keep it or eat it!) and Carlene stitched me up (I had just a small tear). Tripp cut the cord once it had stopped pulsing. Carlene examined her, weighed her, cleaned her up a little (don't have to wash off the vernix. it's actually good for their skin) and got her dressed all right there in my room with us. Audrey never left my sight. Carlene stayed until she was sure we were both okay, called a few times to check on me the next day, came back a few days later and she's been available to us if we had questions since. She'll do my 6 week check up soon. The whole thing was amazing. I've said it a few times on facebook, but it really was the most amazing day of my life and I would do it again the exact same way in a heartbeat! (just not right away, of course!)

Since giving birth, I've been looking in to becoming a childbirth educator. I love talking to other women about it and encouraging them, not just to do it naturally or at home, but so they are not afraid of it.

I used to think it was funny that two of my friends said that they loved giving birth, but now that I have, I feel the same way! It's true that you forget the pain, but it was the whole experience that was so amazing to me.

Here are some pictures!